Troubled Thoughts

Sometimes, I wish I had someone who would listen to me with patience and understand what I am going through, what I am trying to say… But when someone says that, I am listening, share, I just go numb. And sometimes people take this as my excuse to attract attention and that I have nothing to say, that I am some pathetic attention seeker…

I have heard this so many times that NOW, even I doubt myself. But I am a human too, right? So, I can’t have it together all the time. I don’t really blame others, its me who is supposed to be blamed, it is always me…I just wish that all these things that I write about, I can speak out, with actual words.

I know I have wounds and they are stinging. And I know they are not imaginary, they are there but I don’t know how to let them out.

Sometimes, I sit alone and reflect on all those nagging thoughts bringing me down. Like now. A tear or two make their way down my cheeks but I wipe them as quickly as I can before anyone sees them. It has been quite a time since I have cried my eyes out without any fear or concern to be found in that state.

I am gonna be okay, I know that too. I want to be okay, so, I try to get back to normal as soon as I can. I just sometimes wish, I had that someone who would hug me and tell me to let it all out without any fear, who would make me feel like I also matter, no matter how clumsy, naive and dumb I can be, I still matter.

I guess I have to be that someone for myself, for now. 

– aak92

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Perfect or Human

Have faith in yourself and your skills. 

Don’t try to be perfect, try to be a human.

– aak92

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She was a Blessing He Lost!

He took her hand into his,

And put a ring on it.

Promising to walk zillion miles,

Together and forever.

 

He was her world,

Her universe,

And she was his,

Or so she thought.

 

He made promises, but all empty.

He gave her hopes, but all broken.

She saw the signs,

Still she held on to their fragile bond.

 

She gave him all,

Her heart, her love,

Her body, her soul,

Her everything.

 

She was sincerely willing to,

But he was totally blind,

Blind enough to see the blessing,

Blessing he should have been cherishing.

 

Guess, to him, she was just a toy,

Someone to play with,

Someone to satisfy his pity needs,

All this, just for a while.

 

He crushed her heart,

And scared her soul for life.

Without giving it much thought,

He left her on her parents’ doorstep.

 

Watching him go,

She held back the tears, forming up in her eyes

Holding on to the only thing he left her with

A tiny gift from heaven

 

A gift just for her,

With no part for him.

‘Cause he lost one blessing,

How can he expect to get the other…

These words tell a true story, of real people, from the beginning to the end.

What I can’t understand is, how can people destroy their own families?

Don’t make any if you are not strong enough to make it work, and if you have put a ring on it then MAKE IT WORK!!

Marriages and relationships are not some doll play. Get real!

– aak92

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Oh My! How Wrong I Have Been!

Its been a while, since I have cried my heart out,

Even thought I might never have to.

 

But oh my! How wrong I have been!

 

There you were,

Throwing your words at me.

 

There I was,

Shielding myself from you.

 

Tried my best to not let them get to me,

But the words just kept on coming.

 

Piercing through my heart,

Opening a portal for the tears to flow down my cheek.

 

Oh my! How wrong I have been!

For someone who didn’t care for the words or the person siting in front of him..

– aak92

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Get a Grip People!

I honestly don’t know what is worse:

The so-called feminists raising pointless, cheap and pathetic slogans…

OR

The disgusting sexist, racist men posting dirty, cheap and offensive stuff about women…

Get a grip people and put an end to this nonsense!

– aak92

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If Only I Had Known…

If only I had known,

It was going to be our last walk in the rain,

I would have kept you out for hours.

 

If only I had known,

It was going to be our last conversation ever,

I would have kept you up all night.

 

If only I had known,

I was going to lose you so soon,

I would have made every second count.

 

If only I had known…

– aak92

That’s just it, we never really know what is going to happen next. Life is a mystery, a surprise (which can be good or bad), that is why we should cherish every moment and make the most of what we have now.

We should try to live our lives with our loved ones, to the fullest. We should make every second count. So, when it is all over, we don’t carry any regrets in our hearts.

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A Conflicted Contradiction

She is no longer a girl, not yet a woman.

She tries to be a jolly person but seriousness is what her personality is made of.

She wants to be fearless, but somehow the scared part always jumps out.

She can be lazy, yet pretty ambitious.

She can be cautious, still doesn’t forget to live to the fullest.

She doesn’t like herself, still she loves the qualities she possess.

She pretends like she doesn’t care, but in reality, she always does.

She desires for a chance to shine, but always pulls back the moment it happens.

She is a mess, but got a tidy nature.

She thinks she has figured out herself, still she gets surprised by the girl she has become.

She is what you call a clashed paradox, a disputed irony.

She is one conflicted contradiction.

– aak92

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Somethings are Better Left Alone…

People are getting tired of asking what’s wrong,

and

She is running out of nothings to tell.

 

In herself, she carries a fire,

A fire of words, of feelings,

of emotions, of stories.

 

Somethings, she will never be able to open up about.

Inside they burn her,

Outside they are nothing more than a wandering smoke.

 

How to fix this,

How to begin…or

Even from where…

– aak92

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Finding Peace on a Rainy Day

Closing her eyes,

She raised her head,

Into the wind,

And felt it flit across her face.

 

Reaching her soul,

It made her forget,

All the worries, that were bringing her distress.

 

A little drizzling joined the breeze,

Falling on her face, and bringing out the smile,

Enabling her to feel the peace.

 

Inside and out,

She felt it all.

Inside and out,

She felt free.

– aak92

I was trying to write something where I can show you and can make you feel about the weather and how it affected me rather than just state about it.

This is my first shot at this. Do tell me how did I do.

Are you feeling it? :/