Troubled Thoughts

Sometimes, I wish I had someone who would listen to me with patience and understand what I am going through, what I am trying to say… But when someone says that, I am listening, share, I just go numb. And sometimes people take this as my excuse to attract attention and that I have nothing to say, that I am some pathetic attention seeker…

I have heard this so many times that NOW, even I doubt myself. But I am a human too, right? So, I can’t have it together all the time. I don’t really blame others, its me who is supposed to be blamed, it is always me…I just wish that all these things that I write about, I can speak out, with actual words.

I know I have wounds and they are stinging. And I know they are not imaginary, they are there but I don’t know how to let them out.

Sometimes, I sit alone and reflect on all those nagging thoughts bringing me down. Like now. A tear or two make their way down my cheeks but I wipe them as quickly as I can before anyone sees them. It has been quite a time since I have cried my eyes out without any fear or concern to be found in that state.

I am gonna be okay, I know that too. I want to be okay, so, I try to get back to normal as soon as I can. I just sometimes wish, I had that someone who would hug me and tell me to let it all out without any fear, who would make me feel like I also matter, no matter how clumsy, naive and dumb I can be, I still matter.

I guess I have to be that someone for myself, for now. 

– aak92

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A Plea…

I know I am not the only one, still we are not enough. 

I have a wish, a request, probably a long-sighted dream. It saddens me to see our people filled with so much hate for each other. We can’t be born with this!

Babies are a gift from heaven and heaven is a no place for hate or anything dark. None of us are born with hate in their hearts or hate for their fellow beings. It is something that is drilled into us. 

Hate is not the first feeling we encounter, whereas love comes naturally and is there from the very beginning. 

I am not talking about some crazy love or even romantic kind, I am talking about the deep, pure one. The kind of love that makes you put others first, the kind that compels you to be respective and caring towards everyone despite of their status, color, religion, age or background. 

We should not hold others’ differences against them. We should try not to hold any grudges against anyone. No one is perfect; after all we are humans, we are not supposed to be.

Things are tend to go wrong from time to time, life is not a smooth ride. But at least we can try to have a stable mind. If one of us is having a break down or something, at least the other one can try to be on the good end. It all depends on what you value more, tearing or keeping together, spreading love or planting hate, becoming a better fellow being or just making it all about yourself.

This is a simple plea; simple but demanding, that’s why I am requesting you to at least try. With all your heart ‘n’ soul give it a try to:

  • Be humble.
  • Be kind to others without expecting anything in return.
  • Be polite with everyone irrespective of their ages, color, rank, religion or background.
  • Replace the love of power with the power of love.
  • Put a stop to violence, sexism and racism.
  • Be humans not Gods.
  • Be respectable towards others irrespective of sex, color, rank, religion or background.
  • Fight the evil in yourself and never let it win.
  • Spread as much love as you can and as long as you can.

The list of good deeds can go on and on but just writing about is not it. Make these deeds go on and on by touching hearts ‘n’ soul of those around you.

Try to offer your understanding, love, respect, friendliness and peace to the world, even when you don’t get much in return, keep trying. One day, your good heart will touch another, and from there another and so on. The chain has to start from somewhere…

We are all humans with a beating heart, right? Then let’s prove it.

-aak92

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Sometimes, You Just Got to Believe…

Sometimes, the day just won’t come to an end.

Sometimes, all you can do is just throw up your hands.

 

Sometimes, the world will get dark.

Sometimes, all you can do is wish for a spark.

 

Sometimes, giving up will seem easier.

Sometimes, all you can do is wish for life to be less crazier.

 

Sometimes, its the little things.

Sometimes, all you can do is wish for more springs.

 

Sometimes, life gets too much to bear.

Sometimes, you got to get out and get some air.

 

Sometimes…its just sometimes…

 

You got to be strong,

And you got to believe you are.

 

You got to be your own light,

And you got to believe you carry it in you.

 

You got to keep moving forward,

And you got to believe you can.

 

Sometimes, all you got to do is,

Believe.

For you, yeah you, right there (whoever is reading this).

Believe in yourself, dearie.

You can conquer so much, just believe you can.

– aak92

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What Comes Naturally…

If one can take minutes even hours from their precious little time, to give negative feedback then I don’t think so, it should be much of a bother for them to say something nice, for a change.

But I guess, sometimes it is. Probably because they are so used to giving negative feedback that it just comes naturally to them.

I wish, there are more people who can say something nice, something pleasant. I wish, more people can be polite, by nature.

– aak92

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A Present or A Penalty

“…..today is a gift. That is why, it is called the present.”

You probably have heard or read this quote, a million times. But it only speaks to you, when you are on cloud 9. It might even work, if you are somewhere around it. But what to go with, when you feel like you have nothing to go with.

From my understanding, I think our moods or situations cannot stop today from being a gift. It might not be the gift, one is hoping for, or wants at that time, but you will come around to it.

When you get a gift, you don’t throw it at the giver’s face just because you don’t like it. Instead you smile and say thank you. You put aside that gift for later use. That’s what you do. You do not lash out,  just because someone didn’t get you what you wanted. That’s how it is with today and life.

In life, we have to face some things, go through experiences, that we wish, we never had to. We question them, even lash out at our creator, for putting us through all that. But do you know, He also gets us out of it. All we have to do is never give up.

We can take a break, cry our eyes out, but we should never quit. The direction might not be what we have planned. But then again, can we ever be sure, that where we are heading, is where we want to be.

Think about it.

– aak92

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Daddy, I Wish You Were Here

Holding her father’s hand

Crossing to a land

That was ahead

 

She loosened her grip on her father’s hand

From time to time

‘Cause she wanted see the world

She wanted to soar

 

But whenever darkness prevailed

Or a monster jumped at her in broad daylight

She shrank back, tightened her grip

 

And he screened her

Standing in the way of everything and anything

Advancing to hurt his little girl

 

But then came the darkest coldest scariest storm

It turned everything upside down

 

She looked beside her

He was gone

Her father was gone

 

She searched and searched

But all in vain

 

She looked ahead

And she knew

From now on

She will have to cross all the hurdles and

Face all the monsters without him

 

No going back

Only moving forward

With a heartache

And flashbacks that will always haunt her

 

Every time she will over come a hurdle

She will look back

And smile, a little smile

A sad happy smile

 

And will say:

Daddy, I wish you were here

To see your little girl growing up

 

Daddy, I wish you were here….

– aak92

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Angel of Blessing

Imagine what it will be like,

To hold the little angel of blessing.

 

With tiny little feet and hands,

With cute little face,

With eyes set on you,

 

Imagine what it will be like,

To hear her little burp.

 

Imagine what it will be like,

To rock her to sleep.

 

Imagine what it will be like,

To kiss her soft, delicate cheeks.

 

Imagine what it will be like,

To have an angel of blessing.

– aak92

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