Troubled Thoughts

Sometimes, I wish I had someone who would listen to me with patience and understand what I am going through, what I am trying to say… But when someone says that, I am listening, share, I just go numb. And sometimes people take this as my excuse to attract attention and that I have nothing to say, that I am some pathetic attention seeker…

I have heard this so many times that NOW, even I doubt myself. But I am a human too, right? So, I can’t have it together all the time. I don’t really blame others, its me who is supposed to be blamed, it is always me…I just wish that all these things that I write about, I can speak out, with actual words.

I know I have wounds and they are stinging. And I know they are not imaginary, they are there but I don’t know how to let them out.

Sometimes, I sit alone and reflect on all those nagging thoughts bringing me down. Like now. A tear or two make their way down my cheeks but I wipe them as quickly as I can before anyone sees them. It has been quite a time since I have cried my eyes out without any fear or concern to be found in that state.

I am gonna be okay, I know that too. I want to be okay, so, I try to get back to normal as soon as I can. I just sometimes wish, I had that someone who would hug me and tell me to let it all out without any fear, who would make me feel like I also matter, no matter how clumsy, naive and dumb I can be, I still matter.

I guess I have to be that someone for myself, for now. 

– aak92

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Indeterminable Depth

Hurting someone is as easy as throwing a pebble in the water. But you cannot determine how deep it will go.

And once the pebble is out of your hand, you don’t get to decide how deep it get to go.

– aak92

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Perfect Match…

The wind blows

And it tears everything apart

 

Raise the walls

Board up the windows

Lock your hearts

 

It might save you from the hurricane

But you will be alone and without a spark

 

Bring down the walls

Open the windows, wide open

Welcome someone new in

 

You never know

They might not be like others

They might be looking for someone just like you

Wouldn’t that be a perfect match…

– aak92

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