Troubled Thoughts

Sometimes, I wish I had someone who would listen to me with patience and understand what I am going through, what I am trying to say… But when someone says that, I am listening, share, I just go numb. And sometimes people take this as my excuse to attract attention and that I have nothing to say, that I am some pathetic attention seeker…

I have heard this so many times that NOW, even I doubt myself. But I am a human too, right? So, I can’t have it together all the time. I don’t really blame others, its me who is supposed to be blamed, it is always me…I just wish that all these things that I write about, I can speak out, with actual words.

I know I have wounds and they are stinging. And I know they are not imaginary, they are there but I don’t know how to let them out.

Sometimes, I sit alone and reflect on all those nagging thoughts bringing me down. Like now. A tear or two make their way down my cheeks but I wipe them as quickly as I can before anyone sees them. It has been quite a time since I have cried my eyes out without any fear or concern to be found in that state.

I am gonna be okay, I know that too. I want to be okay, so, I try to get back to normal as soon as I can. I just sometimes wish, I had that someone who would hug me and tell me to let it all out without any fear, who would make me feel like I also matter, no matter how clumsy, naive and dumb I can be, I still matter.

I guess I have to be that someone for myself, for now. 

– aak92

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Cracks…

We all are  broken, in one way or another.

Some have more cracks then others; that doesn’t give them any superiority over those who possess less.

To all of us, whether they are big or small, our cracks matter.

– aak92

A Dedication

I have a sweet little cousin,

So delicate and sensitive.

 

Though she acts all rough and tough,

But try to see through those eyes.

 

Past that smile,

Past that talk,

She is just like any other teenage gal,

Just a little bit more special. 🙂

 

Don’t want to see her hurt,

Don’t want her to lose herself,

 

So here is a message for you, my dear

 

Don’t feel down or alone,

You may not know it yet,

But there are people to whom you mean the world.

 

Laugh when you can,

Apologize when you should,

And let go of what you can’t change.

 

Don’t waste your tears for those who are not worth it,

Spare time for those who matter most.

 

Be who you are and say what you feel.

Don’t worry who mind,

Because who do don’t matter,

And who matter do not mind.

 

Be yourself, stay happy and remember you are never alone.

 

None of us can promise you to be there for you always,

But there is someone who will always be,

Just keep your faith and He will keep you safe.

– aak92

For my little sister-like cousin, Munno. Stay blessed, sweetie.

When We were Together

Walking along the road

I saw a plane

And remembered…….

 

How we used to scream and wave at it

Even when we knew it was miles away

Even when we knew we were old enough not to act like that

I don’t know what it was about

But having you guys by my side was the only thing that mattered.

 

Passing by the market

I saw all those shops

We used to go

And remembered…….

 

How we used to enter and goof around

So lost in our world

That we didn’t even care what people were thinking

Only thing that mattered was that we were together

 

Moving in a lift

I remembered………

 

The time we traveled in it and took photos

People maybe thinking we were so out of our minds

But the only thing that mattered back then

Was that we were together…

– aak92

For the people with whom I made all those memories.