Troubled Thoughts

Sometimes, I wish I had someone who would listen to me with patience and understand what I am going through, what I am trying to say… But when someone says that, I am listening, share, I just go numb. And sometimes people take this as my excuse to attract attention and that I have nothing to say, that I am some pathetic attention seeker…

I have heard this so many times that NOW, even I doubt myself. But I am a human too, right? So, I can’t have it together all the time. I don’t really blame others, its me who is supposed to be blamed, it is always me…I just wish that all these things that I write about, I can speak out, with actual words.

I know I have wounds and they are stinging. And I know they are not imaginary, they are there but I don’t know how to let them out.

Sometimes, I sit alone and reflect on all those nagging thoughts bringing me down. Like now. A tear or two make their way down my cheeks but I wipe them as quickly as I can before anyone sees them. It has been quite a time since I have cried my eyes out without any fear or concern to be found in that state.

I am gonna be okay, I know that too. I want to be okay, so, I try to get back to normal as soon as I can. I just sometimes wish, I had that someone who would hug me and tell me to let it all out without any fear, who would make me feel like I also matter, no matter how clumsy, naive and dumb I can be, I still matter.

I guess I have to be that someone for myself, for now. 

– aak92

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Understanding Is What Matters

Sometimes people who don’t talk much about the reason behind their stressed face, the hollow look in their eyes; they are going through a lot. You don’t always have to know. Sometimes simple understanding and a hug is enough.

-aak92

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