It Happens Every Time…

Once you have experienced the death of someone close and dear to you, no matter how long ago it has been, it never really goes away. You get vivid flashbacks, loud and clear, every time you see the same thing happen to others.

Every time.

– aak92

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Just A Dream

You were standing there, right in front of me

Smiling that sweet smile of yours

 

My mind said,”Not possible”.

My heart screamed, “Embrace it.”

 

I ran and hugged you tight

It felt so real, so comfy

 

Thought I will never let go

But then my eyes opened

 

I sat up

Ran my eyes around the room

Searching for you

 

How can it be?

Same room, same me

But no you

 

The reality hit me…hard

A tear rolled down

 

It was only just a dream……

– aak92

Reality hurts…

The Dark Side

Memories play in her mind

Some lost to unconsciousness

Some forgotten over time

 

How much time has passed

One look at now

One look at then

Seems to say: Quiet a lot

 

Back then, things seemed pretty easy

With her family by her side

She had nothing to fear

With her friends there for her

She couldn’t have been more blessed

 

Then she met

The dark side of life

She came to know about losing someone dear

She learned to live without someone, she couldn’t have imagined to

 

She came across

The dark side of people

She learned how betrayal feels

She learned the things, she wished, she wouldn’t have

 

And it changed her

For good or for bad

She couldn’t decide

Not just yet…

– aak92

Temporary Stop

Here, people come and go

 Its not for a permanent stay

You will not be here for long

Its just a temporary delay

 

Here, don’t get too comfortable

It is not going to last

Before you will know it

It will be over with a blast.

 

All that you love,

All that you collect,

Will be washed away.

 

There will be nothing left

Except what you take forward

 

So, as long as you stay

Do something permanent,

That stays even after you are gone

Gone forever…

– aak92

This life is a temporary stop. All that is today, might not be tomorrow. So, make the most of it and collect the good things, to take forward.

Black Day for Pakistan

I might be a little late, ma

Don’t be angry

I might never come back, ma

Don’t you cry

They went to school and never came back.

Can you imagine sending your children, your babies, your little angels to school to shower themselves with education and they return soaked in blood? Can you? 

Even imagining makes one shiver, how can we see it. They are showing their pictures. So innocent, so naive, so unaware of the cruelty that is going to be imposed on them. There are pictures of them taking their selfies, group photos, while eating pizza pictures, goofing around and all that.

They were killed so brutally, shot in hands, feet, legs, everywhere. What they did to deserve this? That they were born in this world!

What religion allows us to kill anyone let alone children? Children!!! Seriously? They were just buds, ready to bloom. 

Where are we heading? What lies ahead? Is there any future for us? Will there be any future for us? We are at each other throats, we killing each other without any reason. There is torture , brutality, abuse, disrespect of women. Women were BURNED TO DEATH in this incident. What religion allows this? 

This can go a long way. For now let’s pray for those little angels and those mothers and sisters and daughters who were martyred in the Peshawar incident and those families who lost their dear ones.

Have seen flowers on funeral

Now I have seen funeral of flowers

-aak92

I Hate Remembering It……

The day I lose you

Keep coming back to me

It is a nightmare I can’t get rid of

 

I hate remembering it but

I can’t stand to forget it

 

You used to be there always

Now you are nowhere around

 

I hate remembering it but

I can’t stand to forget either.

For my father 😦

– aak92

Best Friends…Forever?

“Claire, come on.”

Hailey had already reached the sea and was shouting to Claire to hurry up. Finally, Claire caught up with her and said, “Hey, you have always been a faster runner than me then why don’t you slow down a little when you are with me?”

Hailey laughed and said, “I want to be ahead of you so I can look out for you. The danger is ahead not behind. And you got my back. How would you have my back otherwise?”

“Yeah, but next time try to walk beside me and be with me.”

“Okay Claire, as you wish. Happy? Now let’s get in the water.”

And they had a good time. Claire and Hailey had known each other since they were eight years old and now they were sixteen. Since the first day they met, they knew that they were perfect for each other and they became best friends. Not a thing or a person was ever able to break them.

On their way home, Claire found a tree. She picked a hard rock with a pointed tip, with it she wrote their names on the tree and made a heart around them. Hailey was also watching this, she took the rock from her and wrote “BFF” under their names. Then she said, “I don’t know about you but you are going to be my best friend forever!” Claire gave her a big hug and then they raced back to their homes.

*****

Next day, they were coming back from school, in their bus. Everyone was singing and making a lot of noise. Hailey was dancing along with the singing while Claire was enjoying all this from her seat. Suddenly, the bus driver applied the brakes; Hailey almost fell over but Claire grabbed her. Fear was pretty apparent on both of their faces. Before they had their chance to laugh it off, their bus crashed into another oncoming bus. And then everything went black.

*****

The next day, Claire woke up in a hospital. The whole scene of the ‘bus accident’ flashed before her eyes and the first thought was that of Hailey. She got up with a start and looked everywhere. No Hailey. As she tried to get up, a nurse came in and told her to lie down but she resisted. All she was able to think about was, Hailey. She asked the nurse about her too. But she didn’t reply. Claire started yelling and then her mother entered. She tried to calm her down but Claire just wanted to know about Hailey. Why was no one answering her?

Finally, her mother looked at her and that look told her everything. Hailey was gone and there was nothing Claire could do to get her back. She fell into unconsciousness. For days, she remained in that condition. On sixth day after the incident, she finally regained her consciousness.

Claire was discharged and allowed to go home as she was better now. The only thing she was lacking was to get over Hailey’s death. She went into a trance, no matter how much anyone talked or tried to make her laugh, she kept her silence. Her family gave her time to accept the bitter truth, but they were also worried about her condition. One day when she was able to walk around, she went out for a walk. As she was walking, she came across that tree where she had written their names, and Hailey had added ‘BFF’.

She touched the letters and said, “What about your forever, Hailey?”

A tear dropped from her eye and rolled down her face. Then she turned back and went home, ran straight to her room, where she cried her eyes out.

Days went by and Claire was getting better, physically. She was a cheerful person, but now, she was more like a sad soul, who hardly ever smiled.

*****

One night, she was getting ready to sleep. Two months had passed since Hailey’s death. As Claire was getting into bed she heard a voice. She couldn’t believe her ears, because the voice resembled Hailey’s. She listened again carefully and there it was again. She jumped out of bed and was about to switch on the light when the voice came again and it was calling Claire. Without turning on the light, Claire turned around and saw Hailey, in the ray of her bed-light. For a second, she just stared at her, then she uttered, “Are you real?”

“Just listen to me clearly.”

“B…but….”

“I am here to tell you that you got to get a grip on your life. You need to move on, Claire.”

“But I lost my best friend.” Tears started welling up in her eyes.

“I understand. The pain of losing someone dear to your heart is a terrible thing and the pain never really goes away…But you are among the living, not the dead. If you continue living like that, then what about your dear parents and others who care for you.”

“But what about my pain?”

“Nothing can erase that pain but you just have to be strong, dear. You have to be strong for your parents. You need to return back to life. Just look at it this way,  wouldn’t it hurt your loved ones that you are destroying your life.”

Wiping her tears, Claire muttered, “What you want?”

“I want you to be happy. I am not asking you to forget me. Just want you to be happy and always remember I will always be in your heart. After all we are best friends forever.” And with this Hailey smiled and disappeared.

Claire woke up with a start. It was all a dream. A very vivid dream. She thought back on Hailey’s words and they made sense.

“Oh God! What I have put my family through? I need to get my life back on track, for them, for myself…, for Hailey.”

As she placed her head on the pillow, and tried to sleep, Claire made a promise to herself and to Hailey that from tomorrow, she is going to turn her life, for better.

*****

PLEASE NOTE:

Life is full of ups and downs, lows and highs, smiles and tears, pain and gain, and the list can go on. But this is life. You cannot be happy for eternity, without any bumps, here and there. The trick to having a control on life is that, you need to function as normal with both happiness and sadness in your life. You need to accept some things as they are.

There are some things like the death of someone dear, that can break you. And it is quite tough to get over something like this. And in most cases, one never does. But they master the trick of having a little control over their emotions. One has to learn that trick to move on with life for their loved ones who are still alive, and even for the ones who are gone (they would never want you to just throw your lives away).

 

 

 

 

A Poem for Grandpa

You were almost eighty-five

But as active as five

 

You were there for us all your life

But we got tired in just thirteen days

 

None of us ever realized that we will lose you

This way, this fast

 

But we are glad Allah took you away peacefully

May you enter His court gracefully (ameen)

 

Here you got everything you wished for

May you get the highest seat there (ameen)

 

You can never be forgotten

The hollow space that you have left in our hearts

There you will stay, always …

– aak92

From all of us: His sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters, son-in-laws and daughter-in-laws, nephews and nieces, friends and fellows…..everyone!!!

Rest In Peace, Nana Abu

1929-2012

You weren’t there…

When I woke up on this day

I saw the colors

I heard the laughter

Everything was bright and clear

 

But when I tried to look for you

I couldn’t see you, I couldn’t find you

 

It made me want to scream

To cry until I made a stream

 

Why can’t you be here?

Why can’t I be with you?

Why among these thousand faces

I can’t see yours???

 

It wasn’t the same without you

It wasn’t okay

It wasn’t fine

I wasn’t fine..

 

I put the smile on my face

It fooled the world

But it didn’t trick me

 

The world was colorful

But to me it was colorless

Because you weren’t there to cheer me up…

– aak92

My first Eid without my father.

Reality of Human Beings

When a baby comes into this world

He seems to be happy

He tries to learn things

He seeks answers

He wants to see more

He wants to soar

 

But what can a baby do

When he is called back

Back to his creator

Nothing, nothing at all

Because that’s the reality of Human Beings

 

When a child grows up to be in his teens

He starts to see things from a different angle

It is a whole new world for him

And he wants to live it to the fullest

 

But what can a teen do

When he is called back

Back to his creator

Nothing, nothing at all

Because that’s the reality of Human Beings

 

When the boy turns into a man 

Though he had seen a lot

Yet he doesn’t want it to be over

He wants to be there for his family

He wants to see his children soar

 

But what can a man do 

When he is called back 

Back to his creator

Nothing, nothing at all

Because that’s the reality of Human Beings…

– aak92