Troubled Thoughts

Sometimes, I wish I had someone who would listen to me with patience and understand what I am going through, what I am trying to say… But when someone says that, I am listening, share, I just go numb. And sometimes people take this as my excuse to attract attention and that I have nothing to say, that I am some pathetic attention seeker…

I have heard this so many times that NOW, even I doubt myself. But I am a human too, right? So, I can’t have it together all the time. I don’t really blame others, its me who is supposed to be blamed, it is always me…I just wish that all these things that I write about, I can speak out, with actual words.

I know I have wounds and they are stinging. And I know they are not imaginary, they are there but I don’t know how to let them out.

Sometimes, I sit alone and reflect on all those nagging thoughts bringing me down. Like now. A tear or two make their way down my cheeks but I wipe them as quickly as I can before anyone sees them. It has been quite a time since I have cried my eyes out without any fear or concern to be found in that state.

I am gonna be okay, I know that too. I want to be okay, so, I try to get back to normal as soon as I can. I just sometimes wish, I had that someone who would hug me and tell me to let it all out without any fear, who would make me feel like I also matter, no matter how clumsy, naive and dumb I can be, I still matter.

I guess I have to be that someone for myself, for now. 

– aak92

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How to Survive…

Wherever you are, whatever you do, you are always going to be YOU. Even if you change your outer identity, the ‘inner you’ is never gonna disappear. Your memories of your life are your own. No one can take them away from you.

So, instead of feeling desperate and depressed, go back into your past, dig up the happy moments of your life, with the people you love and realize how blessed you are. 

Once you move your attention from the ugly picture of life to the beautiful one, only then you will be able to SURVIVE.

– aak92

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In this Big Big World

A lot of people gonna hurt you

In this big big world

 

But you gotta stand up

Because you are stronger

Than what this cruel cruel world has to offer

 

Remember this, my friend

These back-stabbers, these gossipers, these leeches

Are not worth your attention

 

Focus on something better

Like you

Like people to whom you mean so much

 

You will find numerous blood-suckers

In this bad bad world

 

Who will try to drain you

Of your sweet sweet smile

 

But I am telling you my friend

Stand your ground

Keep your smile

 

Only then you can handle anything

This big big world throws at you.

– aak92

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To every person out there. ❤