Troubled Thoughts

Sometimes, I wish I had someone who would listen to me with patience and understand what I am going through, what I am trying to say… But when someone says that, I am listening, share, I just go numb. And sometimes people take this as my excuse to attract attention and that I have nothing to say, that I am some pathetic attention seeker…

I have heard this so many times that NOW, even I doubt myself. But I am a human too, right? So, I can’t have it together all the time. I don’t really blame others, its me who is supposed to be blamed, it is always me…I just wish that all these things that I write about, I can speak out, with actual words.

I know I have wounds and they are stinging. And I know they are not imaginary, they are there but I don’t know how to let them out.

Sometimes, I sit alone and reflect on all those nagging thoughts bringing me down. Like now. A tear or two make their way down my cheeks but I wipe them as quickly as I can before anyone sees them. It has been quite a time since I have cried my eyes out without any fear or concern to be found in that state.

I am gonna be okay, I know that too. I want to be okay, so, I try to get back to normal as soon as I can. I just sometimes wish, I had that someone who would hug me and tell me to let it all out without any fear, who would make me feel like I also matter, no matter how clumsy, naive and dumb I can be, I still matter.

I guess I have to be that someone for myself, for now. 

– aak92

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Do You Miss Yourself?

Do you miss yourself?

The person you were before your first loss, before you had your first heartbreak, before you came face to face with the harsh side of this world, and all those double faced people?

Do you miss that version of yourself before all of this?

I know I don’t. I just miss the good old times I had, when I was naive.

– aak92

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She was a Blessing He Lost!

He took her hand into his,

And put a ring on it.

Promising to walk zillion miles,

Together and forever.

 

He was her world,

Her universe,

And she was his,

Or so she thought.

 

He made promises, but all empty.

He gave her hopes, but all broken.

She saw the signs,

Still she held on to their fragile bond.

 

She gave him all,

Her heart, her love,

Her body, her soul,

Her everything.

 

She was sincerely willing to,

But he was totally blind,

Blind enough to see the blessing,

Blessing he should have been cherishing.

 

Guess, to him, she was just a toy,

Someone to play with,

Someone to satisfy his pity needs,

All this, just for a while.

 

He crushed her heart,

And scared her soul for life.

Without giving it much thought,

He left her on her parents’ doorstep.

 

Watching him go,

She held back the tears, forming up in her eyes

Holding on to the only thing he left her with

A tiny gift from heaven

 

A gift just for her,

With no part for him.

‘Cause he lost one blessing,

How can he expect to get the other…

These words tell a true story, of real people, from the beginning to the end.

What I can’t understand is, how can people destroy their own families?

Don’t make any if you are not strong enough to make it work, and if you have put a ring on it then MAKE IT WORK!!

Marriages and relationships are not some doll play. Get real!

– aak92

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Why it Happens?

When we were kids, we used to fight over our parents: Mama, baba are mine!! They are my parents!!

When we grow older, we still fight about them but not for them. We fight to get rid of them: They are your parents!! They are your parents!!

Why it happens???

– aak92

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What Matters…

The number of people standing beside you don’t matter, what matters is honesty and loyalty. Even if it is just one person, as long as there is trust and sincerity in the air, you will be just fine.

– aak92

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Tips for Ramadan

I have been reading some stuff about Ramadan and fasting and I would like to share them with you guys. 

  1. During Ramadan, the devil is chained up for those who fast. So, make the best of this time period and try to please Allah as much as you can.
  2. Make a schedule. Recite Quran daily and try to keep yourself busy, that way it will be easier to fast.
  3. Upon Sehri and Aftari, eating too much food defeats the purpose of fasting. Therefore, control your diet, do not stuff yourself up.
  4. Eating at Sehri time is essential because it keeps you going through the day and Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) warned us about being too extreme. Therefore, one must eat something.
  5. Break your fast with a date, because it’s a sunnah.
  6. Helping others to break their fast also entails great benefits.
  7. Buy the grocery in big bulk, so that you do not have to go to the market everyday.
  8. Seek forgiveness.
  9. Fasting cures many diseases like jealousy, neglect, laziness etc.
  10. The devil flows though us like blood. In Ramadan, fasting narrows the passages through which devil can influence us. Make the best of these days. Fast with all your faith and belief in Allah.
  11. The objective of fasting is to acquire good health. So, avoid stuffing and eating junk food.
  12. Our intention for fasting should be to seek the reward, forgiveness, and pleasure of Allah.
  13. Ramadan is not about eating a variety of delicious dishes every day for iftaar, rather it is more about worship and asking for Allah’s forgiveness.
  14. Anyone who does not leave his false actions and speech, then he is leaving his food and drink for nothing. All his fasting will be meaningless if he does not do it with proper faith and purpose.

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Oh My! How Wrong I Have Been!

Its been a while, since I have cried my heart out,

Even thought I might never have to.

 

But oh my! How wrong I have been!

 

There you were,

Throwing your words at me.

 

There I was,

Shielding myself from you.

 

Tried my best to not let them get to me,

But the words just kept on coming.

 

Piercing through my heart,

Opening a portal for the tears to flow down my cheek.

 

Oh my! How wrong I have been!

For someone who didn’t care for the words or the person siting in front of him..

– aak92

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